i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sarcasm needs its own font
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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