i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
