I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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