8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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