I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
