Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
