Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He shit in the fireplace
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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