i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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