my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
