That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
