Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
