the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My pussy is not your playground.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize