I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
