More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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