I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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