is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
