It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
