dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
