chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
