My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
