Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish I only lived at night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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