If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
