she was so not down for the gang bang
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
