You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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