Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
