Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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