never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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