I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think your dad took our porno
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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