don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.