Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Drunk is not a location!