ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
