ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
