So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
