So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize