i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
