Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
