When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
