i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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