Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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