roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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