is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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