My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
