I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
