false alarm. still invincible.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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