My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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