Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's just like the Real World with babies
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
