dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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