ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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