Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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