a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drunk is not a location!
its liver damage thursday
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
