I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
