I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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