i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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