she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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