I'm drive I can fine osifer
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
