There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
