Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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