Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
