Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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