One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
