he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
