Who did Billy Mays play for?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
