Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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