found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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