I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
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I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
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